I am truly blessed to have two wonderful children and they are so unique and special in their own way. I wanted to reflect on Mother’s day and though it is a time for happiness and joy; for me it was also a time for forgiveness. As a first timer, I was always worried about wanting to do my best, the perfect best, and sometimes I go through a period of self blame but after 4 years, I know now like anything in life parenting is also an adventure.
Wanting to be true to myself, I wanted my children to feel free, indepedent, strong and compassionate as well as confident in the things that they were experiencing and so I have realized that there are just certain things that I need to stop controlling. My experience in my original idea of parenting rooted from a deep past that still controls me to this day and I refuse to let my children experience such pressure and have therefore not only followed my guts but my heart.
I believe as parents we are influenced very much by society, our families and our peers and so much of that is just advice; and nothing more. I found out through trial and error that there are certain things that work with my children while others don’t and it’s not because they are bad or naughty, they are just different. My oldest is high strung, shy but highly intelligent and loving, she moves with her heart and her decision follows and so most of the time a little patience and understanding, listening, is the key to communicating with her. My youngest is almost the opposite; he is brave and daring, loud and fierce and matches the intelligence of the oldest almost 2 years his senior. It’s amazing to see how differently they communicate with me, each other and those around them.
If I watch my children, it’s easy to see how the “norm” doesn’t fit and I love how they have bloomed to become their own selves. So there are times when I need to just relax, stop and breathe; and just forgive.